As I wrote of previously, I’ve been undergoing something of a reclamation process. A journey, through which I am fighting to find myself as a spiritual being after many years of being both numb and lost.
As time goes by, some of the reasons for that period of estrangement might be delved into here, but for now, for the purposes of this exercise I am following through on an offering I made my Goddess, The Morrigan.
The first day of this trial… that’s not really the right word is it? I mean, she’s not a trial. Hrm… maybe it is a trial, I guess that will also be revealed even to me over time. That said, I made a promise, a vow to take a few minutes out of every day for dedicated prayer. To sit or stand before my altar and say a few things, then shut my mouth and just listen.
Some months ago, perhaps around spring equinox I made myself a set of Morrigan Prayer Beads. I’d seen a video by Aine Orga Warren and loved her set. I decided however, not to order one, but to make one for myself. It is in the picture above. Prayer beads or rosaries have always been a favorite of mine.
When I was a child I often went to mass with my Maternal Grandmother, who went early every Sunday, to say her rosary before services. The rosary had a mystical significance to me. My grandmother never had her ears pierced, she never wore jewelry really other than her wedding band. Sometimes she’s toss on a necklace or pin, usually something we grand kids had either given her as a gift or made.
She was an unadorned woman. Not for make up, fancy jewels or any such fussing. So her rosary was like a hidden treasure. The crystals were clear, but finished in that oilslick coloring of carnival glass, so that they cast of rainbows as they slid between her pale and wrinkled fingers. I remember being very quiet as she observed this silent moment of communion with the Trinity and the Virgin.
I would watch her on the kneeler, her silent lips moving and those beads carefully held between fore and middle finger seemed like a spell, a sort of magick only grandmothers could do. When she was done, she’d sit back in the pew, open a small leather coin purse and drop her rosary back into it, tucking that in one of the dark corners of her purse, where cake doughnuts and vics menthol rub were always hidden.
I asked once for a rosary, but because I hadn’t been baptized it was refused. It wasn’t until I was in my mid teens and I asked again and my grandmother bought me one, a little yellow and white plastic rosary that came from Queen of the Holy Rosary Mediatrix Between God and Man Shrine, in Neenah.
I’d been profoundly affected by our trip there, seeing paintings of revelatory scenarios that had years early terrified me out of the Baptist Church. I was shaken, too my core and struck with a fierce desire to feel the mercy of the virgin, deep in my soul. I don’t think if it had been just me and my Grandmother on that visit she’d have given in.
She was staunch that I had been unbaptized, but, my aunt who was with us said it could do no harm to indulge me in this and teach me the prayers. Who knows, maybe I’d grow up to be a good “catholic girl,” after all. I prayed with it ferociously over the next few years. So much so, I still remember Hail Mary, the Catholic version of the Lord’s Prayer, and most of the Apostle’s Creed.
But I also cannot forget, every family holiday that included mass, that my father and I had to sit in the pew and wait, while our entire family and the whole of the church went up to receive communion. I knew then, I was other, that there was a mystery I couldn’t touch, because I was… unbaptized.
Eventually my love of the rosary faded and was replaced by Wicca and Thelema and Snippets of Golden Dawn material. And as my learning and my own self understanding grew, those things too were left in the catch all box of spiritual tokens I collected and then tucked away.
But, prayer beads, knotted cords and worry stones came and went at various stages in my spiritual growth, until the dark time came and all that I once kept and held sacred were packed in the little dome topped chest one of my aunts had given me and my ex-husband as a wedding gift.
I mouthed prayers to the Morrigan from time to time, had saucy and defiant conversations with her on long car rides alone, and bargained or tried to, my way out of several ugly situations. She always came through, though, I rarely held up my end of the bargain.
My punishment, self imposed or not has been a ten year empty, a sucking back hole of depression, isolation, trouble and disconnection. So these prayer beads, this Rosary to the Morrigan is rather integral to my current practice, it is required as part of this year and a day re-connection. I may not make it through the full of it, not yet, but I did make it through a third before my mind began to wander toward the coffee pot.
I think, every day will get better. I hope, every day I will get better. I pray that every day, I’ll grow a little closer to where I need to be. A little closer to healing and a little closer to my Goddess.
For the Curious: I drew the Santa Muerte today, which… I am not going to lie, kind of put a chill up my back, all things considered. This deck’s council comes from my ancestors and for this card it is as follows:
“Accept the change that are offered in front of you, without fear of cutting ties and cutting your self off from old positions, old ideas and old preconceptions. A mutation is imposing itself.”
The Moon – A source of guiding illumination for the death and birth of the year.
Justice – I don’t often pull Justice in my readings. However, I am on the precipice of several large, life-altering decisions. Careful consideration – mindfully calibrating those scales – is the name of the game. Should I take on more debt and go to grad school? Should I change my family life situation?
Like many of us, I suffer from generalized anxiety disorder. Sometimes I make fast decisions just to reduce my anxiety over the unknown. This year, I’m going to strive to embrace the waiting, thinking, and sketching out process instead. These are impactful decisions, and making the right choice is an important part of my year ahead.
This card in particular has Justice accompanied by a white owl, so there’s a strong hint towards wisdom and intuition. Time to trust my gut, balanced with impartial thought.
The Path – A glimpse into the very near future
Eight of Wands – Eight of Wands has been a repeating card for me in the last six months. It pops up frequently in readings done for me and readings I do for myself. I just laughed when this popped out of the shuffle, especially in this position!
Particularly in this version of the card, with a more three dimensional style, wands flying towards the reader, I see a surging forward. It fits perfectly with my plans to apply to grad school and plan for the holidays. There’s plenty of bustle and hurry to be found in those small decisions that come before January.
The Lantern – The point that you use as your current primary guide. What has captivated your attention and that you are drawn by?
Ace of Pentacles – The card in this deck features a large, lush tree with what is clearly a well-fed, healthy buck below. Above this scene hovers a massive gold coin featuring a large pentacle and five Aries symbols in the spaces around the “arms” of the pentacle. There’s also a golden glow of sunrise behind.
I love the Ace of Pentacles (or Coins, as this deck refers to them) in this deck, because it really succeeds at representing what this card is all about – growth! New opportunities! The possibility of abundance!
I do feel that for the first time in a long time, my life is on an upward trajectory. It’s kept me powering through life’s recent challenges. It most certainly IS a guiding light for me at the moment, trying to keep my head above water with all the changes abreast.
The Mask – What illusions are you maintaining for yourself and others?
Nine of Wands (Reversed) – I’ve definitely been struggling with old resentments. When this card is reversed, the staves behind the man almost look like a cage.
I think it’s hard not to hold on to these. The Morrigan has spent the last several months showing me that self-imposed martyrdom is NOT the right path for me.
Maybe I’m making too many excuses for myself and not taking enough responsibility for my own actions in the situation. That Nine of Wands “chip on the shoulder” is a good way to avoid taking a long, hard look at the part I’ve had to play in my current challenges, right?
Radical, loving self-honesty is an important part of this process. I can’t let myself be fooled by holding on to anger.
The Bones – a reflection of ancestry, family, culture, and heritage.
Four of Pentacles – The traditional Rider-Waite version of this card has dour, miserly vibes. The card from this deck contains none of that. There’s a woman sitting on cobblestones or paving stones, and it appears she’s been handed a coin. She has three more sitting beside her, saving them.
She doesn’t appear to be a beggar. After all, she’s well-groomed and wearing a pristine white shirt with black trousers and shiny black boots. The outfit, for me, brings to mind a musician or performer. Perhaps she’s a professional street performer, accepting the offerings of a pleased audience and setting them aside for a rainy day.
Even though the card is a much pleasanter conception of Four of Pentacles, I see a path straight back to many of my female predecessors. Certainly, many of them were known for a certain inflexibility – grudges, rigid ways of thinking, clinging to the known. I come from a long line of strong, determined women, but there’s something there about being too determined, and perhaps bullheaded as much as strong. I need to look at those examples and decide how I want the course of my own life to go. Do I want to bulldoze down that same path, clinging to the familiar and financially comfortable? Or do I need to “let go” of some of these coins?
The Fire – What needs to be cleansed and offered to the fire in order to move through to the new year?
Nine of Pentacles – This relates well to the Four of Pentacles for this reading. Nine of Pentacles, for me, is all about financial creature comforts – but it’s also about the possibly-stifling nature of those, too.
The woman in the card wears a beautiful red gown with embroidery down the back and lace around the collar. Both of those indicate wealth with their traditionally time-consuming nature. There’s also a peacock with feathers fanned, and they’re both standing in what appears to be a well-maintained garden. However, they’re standing on the inside of a wrought-iron fence. It looks sort of like a Victorian zoo, all told. The figure is isolated, alone, and her expression is not delighted but bored, or even forlorn. Notably, most of the women represented in this deck have their hair down or in looser updos. This lady, however, wears a severe bun. It further emphasizes her tense and uncomfortable state.
There’s nothing wrong with financial success, of course. Security and stability and disposable income are wonderful things to have. But the pursuit and maintenance of them can be stifling.
In my own life, I see many places where I chose security and success over what would really bring me the most joy. Often, it was a necessity. I have small children that need to be protected and provided for. But there are times I wish I’d been more daring, more willing to do the thing that fed my heart and soul instead of my wallet.
It’s not too late to change that! And I fully intend to throw it in the fire for the upcoming year.
7. The Veil – What is being revealed?
Given that this is the same as my first card, I think it’s just underlining and bolding that Justice is my card this year as I embark on a new emotional and spiritual journey!
8. The Ancient Ones – Guidance from Ancestors, Spirits, and Guides
Three of Cups seems a little on the nose. Three women together, holding their chalices aloft and sharing in joyful, loving, intimate friendship?
I think it means this podcast is part of this year’s mission!
This morning I decided to try reading with my new tarot deck; Forest of Enchantment Tarot by Lunea Weatherstone. The Enchanter’s Wheel jumped out while shuffling. I also pulled the Nine of Spells. It was in a reversed position. Since there were no actual reversal meanings in the beautiful book that came along with the deck, I took this ‘reversal’ to be a blockage of the energies inherent in the Nine of Spells upright.
According to the book, The Enchanter’s Wheel “is the great unknown, the things we cannot control or comprehend”. It represents the inevitability of change, the weaving of experiences both good and bad that make up the whole of our lives. “Life must be engaged in all its complexity if any meaning is to be found in the journey.”
The book indicates the following for the Nine of Spells: “This card signifies that you have everything you need to accomplish your intention” and “It’s time to bring forth your full potential of power”. “The witch doesn’t need a wand or any other tool to cast her circle. Her magic is within her.” My Nine of Spells was in a reversed position. As I mentioned before, since there are no actual reversal meanings in the deck, I took it to mean a blockage.
Today’s reading is a reminder that change is inevitable and negative experiences are just as important as positive experiences in our lives. I have everything inside myself – all the personal power to weather any change and to enjoy the good in my life… if I just TRUST in myself.
The Swan: A personal story
Since I was mostly raised by my dad and around the age of 10 gained a narcissistic step mother, my paternal Grandmother was my refuge. I spent nearly every weekend there for years. In elementary and middle school, I also took piano lessons and practiced every day after school at Grandma’s house.
Though my home life was turbulent and I was counting down to freedom, Grandma was always loving. She was a wonderfully compassionate, sensitive woman who sacrificed so much to take care of her family. I always joked that she was the embodiment of all american apple pie.
I regret only that there were a number of years as an adult that I didn’t spend as much time with her as I wish I would have. Since her family was everything to her, I am positive that this hurt her deeply. I try not to dwell on those times as much now and focus on all the enrichment she brought into my life.
I have come to understand that she is / was my place/person of power. What I mean by that, is that I have always drawn my strength from her. When I was being teased and put down at school, Grandma built me up. When I was sobbing and feeling so out of place at home, Grandma held me close and reminded me that I did have family that loved me. When I was struggling as an adult – trying to make sense of a Bi Polar II diagnosis and an impending divorce, Grandma was compassionate and interested in learning about my condition. She never alienated me and she always loved me fiercely but softly. Because that is who she was.
It is difficult to explain but I have had dreams and nightmares all of my adult life – where when something negative is happening, Grandma shows up. Or I find in my dream that I am in her home – the home that she lived in for 50 years where my baby picture hung on the wall until the day she moved. Whenever something is happening that I need to draw strength to work through, Grandma is there in some way.
In September of 2012, the month before Grandma passed away, I had a tarot reading done by a spiritual sister. My question was whether Grandma was going to make it through the current medical issues. My answer, was that she was not going to make it. The only card I remember from that reading, was a Swan, but the overall message of the reading was that I would make it through her passing. I would make it because I was stronger than I gave myself credit for and that I just had to remember our bond.
In October 2012, Grandma passed away. I was honored to be able to be with her in her last hours and when she slipped away. I was blessed to be able to kiss her forehead and whisper in her ear that she was my hero. Because, she was. She still is. I continue to draw strength from her memory. I still have dreams and nightmares where in some way, her presence is known.
The reason that I tell this story in conjunction with my reading today, is that when I pulled the book and deck out of the box it came in, at the bottom of the box, was a swan.
My reading today is about personal power. This honestly, has been an ongoing theme in my life. Second guessing myself and feeling at a loss, feeling controlled by life instead of harnessing my own power and strength. Grandma popped in this morning to remind me that she’s here, she loves me and I have everything I need to succeed.
As I contemplated my yearly Lunar Samhain tarot reading, I felt disenchanted with the standard 12 House reading. I’d always found it cumbersome and despite a fair understanding of Astrology, it often felt too esoteric for my liking.
I switched primary personal reading decks this year, opting for Fabio Listrani’s Santa Muerte Tarot over my traditional Rider-Waite deck. Something about the imagery of the Santa Muerte deck really spoke to me, and as my path has been centered around Ancestor worship for some time, I loved that this deck speaks its meanings directly from them.
I have been balking at doing my yearly, knowing I needed to write this essay and be prepared for the podcast reporting. I just didn’t feel the time was right, I was distracted and dealing with a lot of minor projects leading up to this launch. But this morning as I turned my attention to the reading (as it was Lunar Samhain and I needed to complete it), I felt a strong push to change how I layed out my yearly.
Inspiration struck, and what follows is the semi-researched and semi-inspired yearly lay out I came up with for this year’s reading and in support of my deck’s connection with ancestors. I want something grounded and that speaks more directly to my everyday path. As I have been fighting back against years of inactivity and a more cerebral nod to my religion, I believe this approach is far more useful to me.
This is on the fly, and may need some refining, but I offer it up anyway, sharing with you all the fledgling layout and my reading for the coming year.
I decided to run this without a significator or querent card. Something tells me if I see myself on this wheel, it might be important to note where… so throwing myself in the middle seemed counter intuitive.
So, I shuffled and divided as standard, then laid out my cards according to the diagram above.
My phone camera is not the best, and my hands are a bit shaky due to my fibro, so I apologize for the terrible photo. That said, I wanted to give you some idea of how the spread looks actually laid out.
Generally when I do readings I look first for themes, meaning are there more of one suit than the others, more of one number than the others, the number of major arcana, where are they, as do most folks I am sure.
What strikes me first is that there is a slight majority of Cups, as far a suit cards, at 3 and four Major arcana. The cups are all collected in the Spring to Summer quadrant from Spring to Summer and includes The Dagda’s Cauldron.
The next “collection” seems centered around the late Winter to Beltane – which is half of the year and it is filled with Major Arcana and Wands, including Nuada’s sword.
There are only two pentacles – both in Treasures positions, one is the Ace in the Lia Fal position and the other is the King in the Lugh’s Spear position.
And strangely enough to me, there is only one sword, and it is in the Samhain position, which has to be considered as both now, and next Samhain. It is afterall a wheel, a spinning point of time.
In general it looks to me as if the year ahead will be about a journey, and the main theme for the next few months deals with creativity and ambition, about growth and activity. Wands set down with the Fool and the Emperor give me a strong impression of some considerable movement in this direction.
Looking to the west, to the Summer into Fall, I am sort of… both at a loss and intrigued. It begins with The Lovers on Beltane which can mean a lot of things, but then the next three cards are all cups, two reversed and one upright. I am so not ready for a relationship, so let’s hope the cards aren’t suggesting what I feel like they might be.
Coming back around the year, after that glut of sensual cards, we face Santa Muerte herself, the Empress Reversed. I have to sigh, I just do. And then it’s back to Samhain, and a return to that lone Five of Swords.
Below are the rough positional meanings, and I am basing them both on seasonal and elemental placement. This is supported by the Treasures positions, the four Treasures of the Tuatha de Dannan as they represent the deities associated but also their elemental and directional energies.
Card 1 – Samhain.
This card should be read as the head and tail of the year, like an Orobors, swallowing its tail, or the hands of a clock moving round the face. It is a mystery and a certainty, that everything we experience follows the cycles of the year and of time itself.
I think it is a fair idea to read this card in its totality as a result, meaning both upright and reversed. As it sits in the position of Samhain, which is the beginning of the empty time, the void and fallow, between the harvest and the rebirth of the sun, it too spins, or is two faced, liminal and has a foot in either season.
For me this card is the Five of Swords. Immediately I feel it’s symbolism, two people confronted or beset by swords: challenges, difficulties, enemies. It is conflict, but the reality of most conflict is that the real fight is often with ourselves – to either act or simply react to a situation, person, or difficulty. When looking to the set meanings for this deck and this card the counsel is to let go, do not fight, but do not flee. To move with the tide of the conflict and take advantage of any and all the opportunities that it presents. Put in personal perspective, I am currently unemployed and have just begun a new regime of medication for my fibro. It hasn’t been easy, the meds while they are working are presenting me with more than a few unpleasant side effects and dealing with my insurance company to resolve some of that by switching from the generic to the name brand is proving to be a struggle.
I am wanting to get a job, but at present I need to keep my current insurance which may be taken if I do, and I am fairly certain these side effects would make a job right now very uncomfortable. My doctor and I, and Willow actually have discussed that it might be best for me to attempt to get disability, however, I really don’t want to. I enjoy and in fact find I feel better emotionally if I am working.
So, I see this card very much on those terms, that this struggle is likely to last the year in one form or another, and it is the backdrop for the journey ahead. I guess the challenge is to be awake, to keep my head up and watch for opportunities to make more out of my current situation that I currently see.
Card 2 – Winter Solstice/Yule
This card is in the position of renewal, dawn, and beginnings. It should be read as it lays, either upright or reversed. This position speaks to how we set out upon our journey for the year, the energies that come with the lengthening days ahead. Attitude is half of any undertaking, the way we envision it affects its outcome.
For me this card is The Fool, and of course couldn’t be an any more stereotypical card. The Fool arrives precisely on time; at the beginning. Traditionally the fool is seen generally as the querent – who is about to begin something or has and is filled with enthusiasm and naivete.
Reading it in light of the Santa Muerte given meanings, it seems that something new, a new direction or part of my journey will begin around Winter Solstice and that if I keep the right attitude about it, as well as be prepared to let go of anything I don’t need in order to take this journey I should be in a good position. I am going to hope this is about starting a new job.
Card 3 – Imbolc/Bridie’s Day
This card is in the position of germination, it is the seed planted, watered and nurtured. It is both fresh and vulnerable. It is the sigh of relief after a long winter, where the snow may come, but every day grows a little warmer, and every day we can smell the fresh air that spring brings.
It should be read as it falls. One should consider how one sews, the seeds we plant are what we will harvest come Lughnasadh and Fall Equinox. In truth, it is what will sustain us through the next cycle of darkness coming as we approach and travers from Samhain to the Solstice next year. As Bridgid is the Goddess associated with this season and day, we look to the household and the hearth, and to finalize our plans for those creative endeavors we are involved in.
For me this card is the Emperor. Traditionally this is Mastery and Power, Authority and its expression. To be honest? I have no idea what that is about, though, considering it’s placement and the cards around it I am thinking that it does indeed have something to do with work, a job or something on that order. Perhaps I’ll be offered and take a supervisory position. It is where I have been hoping to go, as it would put the best use of my skills.
The Santa Muerte which gives its advice from The Dead, or our ancestors says I should aim high, and not shy away from taking advice, or reaching up instead of straight out. It definitely feels like support for a decision about how to proceed financially and job wise.
Card 4 – Ostara/Spring Equinox
This card is the sprout, it is the tender seedling that arises from the soil in which we planted. Hopefully we chose well when planting and that shoot is strong. It embodies the first experiences with what we’ve imagined and begun to manifest for ourselves. It should be read as it lies, upright or reversed.
For me, it is the Six of Wands. Traditionally the Six of Wands is about success and recognition. It is about being seen as successful or being given credit for the success you’ve attained. I’d like to read that as if I take the opportunity that arises come Imbolc that I will see the fruits of that, and that I will prove to others as well as myself that I made definite progress.
The council of the Santa Muerte deck itself suggests I shouldn’t dither or downplay my abilities, but that I should also be aware of my shortcomings lest I fall. That if I proceed thoughtfully and trust myself, without giving in to pride or vanity, things will flower both for myself and those around me.
Card 5 – Beltane
This card is the full bloom of the year, the roses bright and red, the corn shooting up and putting on ears. It is about the sensation of warmth and fullness, about longer days and short nights. Beltane as the halfway point in the year is a time of celebration. While the shoots have come up, it is also a time to dig into our fertility and give thanks for it. It is the opposite side of the coin of Samhain. It too should be read both upright and reversed.
The mid-point is a crucial time, where storms can flood the fields and where I live frost can still come and nip their tops. Like Samhain it is liminal, a two sided turning that requires some extra vigilance.
For me, this card is The Lovers. Traditionally this card is not quite as we take it. Meaning it is not always or even usually a literal love situation, but more a card of unity. Upright it is seen as Unity and Common Purpose, A balance of opposites that creates a whole. Reversed it is conflict, division and isolation. The Santa Muerte suggests that it is a time of making choices, of following one’s bliss. But it also suggests this won’t be an easy decision, that it means hard work or other difficulties. But that it will end with gaining what I love.
I am just going to say, I am flummoxed by this card, for me, in this position. I can only sort of see it as the fulfillment of the spring, the opportunities taken, the seeds planted and the hopes and successes I have had will offer me yet another choice, one to truly find what I long for, instead of “doing what is comfortable for now.”
Card 6 – Litha/Summer Solstice
This is the position of the Ripening. When the roses put on hips, the berries grow heavy on the canes, and we get that first taste of ripe fruits of the season. It is an indicator of the harvest, and should be read how it falls, either upright or reversed.
My card here is the Seven of Cups Reversed, and my first reversal of the outer circle. Traditionally this card is on the whole seen as a negative, it is about temptations to grandiose dreams and impracticality. It can also suggest denial of a problem or situation with devastating consequences, That said, it may also indicate – depending upon the cards around it and its position, cutting through the blinders of our idealism, our personal illusions and making corrections to our path.
The Santa Muerte’s council is to persevere and keep my eyes open, stay grounded and not give into fantasies. So, I am going to say that in this position it is about using the hours of light to really see things for what they are.
Card 7 – Lughnasadh
This card is in the position of the beginning of the harvest (at least where I live), where the hay is nearly ready or ready, the soybeans are as well, and we see the elderberry ready and sweet, the wild blackberries fat and juicy, dark purple and delicious. It is a time in garden kitchens to make preserves and begin tucking away the extra green beans in jars for the winter. The energy here is to looking at one’s accomplishments or projects and making those adjustments to them for the coming harvest.
It is a time to take stock, making sure you’ve provided and planted well for the autumn’s harvest. It is also the feast of Lugh, traditionally celebrated with large fires and much merriment. This card should be read as it falls.
My card is the 9 of Cups, traditionally a card of satisfaction and the benefits of hard work. I suppose in light of the flow of the cards thus far, I can see this as coming to the early Autumn next year feeling a sense of well-being and abundance. I rather like that idea, I could definitely use it. It has been a lean few years and I’ve really been struggling with myself and my relationship to money and reward.
Card 8 – Fall Equinox/Mabon
This is the harvest in full. It is a time of great activity, of hard work that begins and ends often in darkness. It is frost, and pumpkins and cider pressings, industriousness and preservation. In this position we see the task at hand, what we’ve been working towards all year long come to fruition. This card should be read as it falls, upright or reversed.
My card is Santa Muerte herself, the Empress and all the abundance she represents. However, it is reversed. Traditionally the meaning here is over involvement in other’s lives, smothering and the negative sides of “Mother Energy.” It can also mean either suffering from over dependence on others or fostering it in the same. There is some indication as well of an over turning of the order that had been present, meaning, a time to become independent or foster it in others, in having a direct sense of mother energy enter your life.
The Santa Muerte Tarot refers to it however in slightly different terms. It says to accept the changes that seem imminent, and to not fear cutting things out of your life, sort of a pruning of sorts, that can be people, ideas, places or things. It seems far more active in this respect, it is about abandoning those things that no longer suit us.
This card in this position is a mouthful for me. And in fact, does bring the year utterly around in a circle for me. It is a reminder that I cannot get too comfortable, that my evolution is never static and that those things I depend upon also can weaken me. I need to remember that.
Now we come to reading the Inner Circle, as depicted by the positions of the Four Treasures of the Tuatha de Dannan.
Lia Fal – Sovereignty – Earth – Place – Self
It is my thoughts that this is the card that speaks of our Foundation, what we feel is the rock solid bottom beneath us. What supports our personhood. Our own sense of Sovereignty. That can be family, identity, location, etc.
In this position we have the Ace of Pentacles, which as all aces do speak about the beginnings of something. Here it is suggested traditionally opportunity, a new venture and prosperity. It seems exceptionally fitting as it comes on the day that I and my fellow Crow Women record our first episode. I am indeed beginning a new venture. But more than that, I am beginning a new relationship with these two women and with The Morrigan. And it is indeed, where I feel most comfortable.
This is the position of Vision, Intellect and Cunning. Cliamh Solais is believed to mean Sword of Light, and the card in this position denotes what one can see, what one thinks, or intellectually gleans about the situation at hand.
In this position I pulled the Page of Wands Reversed. Traditionally this card suggests lack of direction/vision and lacking a sense of expediency, all of which seems to bode poorly. I take it as a caution against being indecisive, as I do have a tendency to dither too much on things and sometimes get caught up in the myopic of a situation.
The Santa Muerte advice upon drawing this card is to push for further independence and not waste time procrastinating over making the moves that will ensure that. It very much echoes the traditional meaning in that sense.
This is the position of the warrior spirit. Lugh was by all accounts so passionate that he confounded the Tuatha de Dannan’s efforts to keep him from the Battle of Moytura. He could not be stopped, and in the end his brash and passionate desire to fight indeed defeated Bresh, leading to the Fomorian’s loss.
Here we see passion and fire akin to inspiration and drive. The card in this position should speak to that core of us that burns brightly when we are truly in accord with our divinity. For this position I drew The King of Pentacles.
Traditionally The King of Pentacles, and it suggests security and abundance. As I move around the reading I can see where this is the expected reinforcement of taking on more responsibilities, and in fact promoting myself to positions that are suitable to my talents. In fact, I can take it in some regards as a reminder that if I chose to see myself that way, I am multi-talented as Lugh and if I work with all of my faculties I will reach a better and more sustainable financial position.
The Santa Muerte suggests I make myself useful to others, in doing so I will be rewarded for giving of myself. I like that too, and I take it in concert with the traditional meaning.
Coire Ansic – The Dagda’s Cauldron – Sea – Life – Feelings
The card in this position reveals the querent’s feelings and relationship to the all, to everyone, and everything. While Coire Ansic fed the people perpetually, cauldron’s too speak to our rebirth, to our depths and connection to all creation. It should be read as representative of that flow, of that connection to life and one’s feelings.
In this position I received the King of Cups Reversed. This reversal is definitely cautionary. I take it in this position to be wary of my own tendency to let my emotions override making good choices, good decisions or taking good advice. Being wounded is no justification for lashing out at myself or others.
This is one of those issues that I sometimes struggle with, proportionality of emotion to a given set of circumstances. I think the caution here is to keep perspective, let my feelings flow through me not me become tossed on their tide. If I give in to my negative response to disappointment or hurt, I run the risk of greater losses and greater wounding, by my own hand or choices.
The Santa Muerte echoes the traditional meaning, that it is also a warning about ego and manipulation. Retreating into one’s negative self esteem can definitely be damaging.
Summary:
I think over all the reading was a good one, though this year will continue to be a series of challenges that I am going to have to face, each having outcomes I can control so long as I am true to myself and keep in mind that I am not a sole sojourner on this path. That I am not alone, and that for true healing and progress to be made, that energy of love and support has to go full circle.
We’ll have to see as the year turns what presents itself and how I manage.
Attempting Murder Podcast 